What Would Kettle Do?

Or the St. Petersburg Kettlebell Championship…or something like that.

Not, exactly high school though.

After we landed in St. Peterburg and were picked up by Coach Rachinskiy, we hit the bank, food market, and had a quick bite. Then we all took a nap at the hotel and then Denis Vasiliev and Sergey Merkulin stopped by the room to hang out and talk a little kettle (AWESOME!!)

Denis let it slip that the tournament was called the Kettlebell Championship of St. Petersburg. So at least it doesn’t sound that intimidating! He assured us that it is a small affair but…we are still super nervous.

After our nice visit we all hit the hay and woke up super early jatlagged as hell

We are rushing a little now but I will write up the comp when we get back.

Nazo is finally here to take some SSNP or (super special NazoPhotos)

Horosho!

Kettle,

I had just started in on a large mug, a tankard really, of my favorite beer

St. Bernardus Abt 12

And was settling in for some light reading after a good lift and a good meal when the phone rang. Normally I don’t answer the phone. I screen everyone and I have accepted a general state of telephone anxiety. However this call I had to take. It was Aleks and St. Petersburg was only 2 weeks away.

“I have something for you Baby” he said

I sipped my beer

“you are going to love this” he said

I sipped my beer again, knowing there was little need to ask what it was I was going to love.

“So they are having a little great fucking competition at the Peterhoff on the 15^th and you should lift” he said “Big guy from America, little lady from Japan, it is so perfect baby, how can not the whole fucking world love this?” he continued…

Bigger sip (more of a gulp really)

“You don’t have to worry, it’s all fun, just like high school baby, at the Palace, it’s beautiful remember? The fountains and the statues, and the gold baby beautiful! You remember all that gold?”

Guzzling now knowing that I will not have another taste until after I compete in this “little, great, fucking” tournament where I will get crushed by a bunch of high school kids in Shangri La!

“But…” I sneeked in

“I know baby, don’t worry, you don’t have to be ready, it’s just for fun”

“But I fly in the day before and…”

“it’s just for fun baby…high school” he said

“Jeez Aleks, what high school did you go to?” I asked

I am preparing for the end of June in New York. I am nowhere near ready. I know that there are something like 30 of these competitions every year around Russia and this one is unique because it is in one of the most beautiful places I have ever seen, but I am going to be jetlagged and yes I have been training but it has not been going well at all and I am in a big slump with my timing and my breathing and my fixation is a mess and I can’t get my insertion down and I don’t know what to wear and…

“Denis is from there you know?”

“What?” I asked, as in, what the hell are you talking about and there is no way I can do this and I will embarrass coach, and you, and IKSFA, and OKC and now Denis is from there?!?!

Denis is one of the nicest guys I have ever met and he is going to walk me in and I am going to lay a huge egg in his hometown and everybody will laugh and he’ll hate me!

“Who’s laying eggs baby?” Aleks asked me.

Did I say all that out loud?

“Chickens lay eggs” he said

“Let’s cook the fucking things up and then cook the chickens and eat’em all up together and solve all the fucking worlds problems! Fucking chicken, fucking egg, who cares who came first baby? All going to the same place at the same time!”

“What?”  I asked, once out loud (for sure) and like a thousand times in my head.

“It’s just fun baby”

“I know, like high school”

Drinking, drinking, drinking…thinking…thinking…trying to think of a way to escape this aaaaannd…

“Ok Aleks, I’m in”

“Gorgeous baby, fucking high school!”

The phone went dead. I finished the last few sips of my last beer. I switched books, I needed something comfortable and sweet now. And as I settled in I had a great bellowing laugh as I pictured Aleks bringing this proposal to Nazo’s little feet. Good luck with that one Aleks! No no, don’t worry, it will be easy, and fun, you know…

like high school.

Kettle,

One last thing…maybe Aleks didn’t quite say all of that. Of course, he might have. I can’t remember. But he probably did, or maybe not, who cares? Either way I fly out tomorrow, land Saturday and lift Sunday. I can’t wait! Thank you Aleks and good luck with Nazo !

Nazo has been in Japan since February. The last time I saw her was in San Francisco after our OKC workshop at Juno in Berkeley. Since then Jason and I have been to Siberia, Texas, Los Angeles, and Toronto without her. Every time an event came up we tried to get her there. We tried so hard. It just wouldn’t happen. We could not pry her little feet out of Tokyo.

But I am happy to report, after months of intense Nazo negotiations, ladies and gentlemen…we got her!

Just before Toronto I snapped. I just couldn’t take it. I was one click away from buying a last minute flight to Tokyo. I only needed one thing. I needed to know what station to take the train to. It’s hard in Japan. Most people speak zero English. There are very few other cities I have been to where I would have worried about this but Tokyo is really, really tough. I had to ask her. I was nervous that if I showed up and needed her help that I would be a burden. I would have only been there for one day. I just wanted to have some tea with her, just to spend a few minutes together.

I tried to be slick with my questions but she is Nazo. She figured it out and talked me out of it…begrudgingly. She said she had no time. She said I could not afford it. I said that I don’t care about those things and that I just want to see her for a min and I would sit in the hotel all weekend if it would allow me to do that.

Just a cup of tea…

and maybe a sweet.

We talked about it for a while. She said she was fat. Seriously! “I gain 4 pound, I huge and ugry”. I don’t think she really understands what my world looks like without her.

We reached a compromise… St. Petersburg.

Since last year she wanted to return. After Siberia it did not seem plausible for me to go back. I wanted to but I just couldn’t see it. She asked me not to buy a ticket to Tokyo but to buy one to St. Petersburg instead.

“I want see Denis, and all the Sergeys and OH! Mishin!! I want see Mishin agaiyn!!”

How could I say no?

The only trick was getting Dolby to go, broke ass John and broke ass Dolby. This would be tough.

It was a tough and long negotiation. He fought pretty hard.  I almost called his mom! I really pissed him off. We got to a point where I think I was really trying to make him mad because I hardly ever see it. I only saw it one time, and it was at the worlds most expensive and crappy sandwich. (He ate it)

In the end though, and I mean a week ago today, he broke and bought his ticket!

Activate Interlock! Dynatherms connected! Infracells up!! Megathrusters are go!!

ALL FOR VOLTRON!!!

We are headed back one more time! We will all meet in Helsinki on Saturday morning. Our flights are coming in from all over and way early.  It doesn’t matter though. We will all be back together for the first time in a long time.

Since before the earthquake.

Since before Siberia.

So much has changed in the last few months. I heard a voice from the past on the phone a few days ago. I couldn’t help but feel we didn’t really know each other any more. There was still love there, a little nostalgia, but I am different now, I am much stronger. Those days seem like so long ago.

St. Petersburg seems like a lifetime ago. I wrote this piece about it last year before I left. I wrote this one here after I got back. I am a totally different person now.

One of my friends called it a “life changing experience” for me. I laughed at the cliché but he insisted. “No John, you are a totally different person now”. Joseph Campbell would say I went through a death and a rebirth.

The same is true for Jason

and definitely Nazo.

It was not just the lifting and the education, sure, that was part of it, but it was just so far. It was so big, it felt so beyond us that we didn’t know if we could do it. We were afraid, but we made it through and it changed us. It pushed us towards even bigger things. It made us stronger.

I don’t know what this trip to St. Petersburg will be like. I don’t know what shell I will crack out of this time. There are many differences between last year and this year but the biggest one is that this time…

We are not afraid.

Kettle,

When Jason and I were in Siberia studying with Coach Rudnev one of the things we asked him about was his opinion on the USA ranking systems. He told us at the time that he and Coach Rachinskiy were working on new ranking tables for the IKFF. He asked us not to mention it until he was finished and we respected that request. After the official announcement I asked Coach Rudnev a few questions about it and he answered them with his usual brevity. I will just post them now and add some commentary afterward.

JW) The numbers for ranking on this table are lower than on the old ranking table. When you first saw the numbers we were using in America, what were your thoughts?

SR) At first when I saw the ranking table and compared the ranking numbers with the results of the sportsmen at the competitions in America I came to the conclusion that the general level of the records was so far from the old ranking numbers.

JW) Do you think it discredits the American lifter to start with a lower ranking number than, say, a Russian or European lifter?

SR) When GS became its development in Russia many years ago the level of the Russian ranking numbers was lower than the new IKFF/IKSFA international ranking table.

JW) It seems to me that being able to rank in multiple events and not just the classic Long Cycle and Biathlon will encourage more people to try Kettlebell Sport. Was this your intention?

SR) Of course. Suggesting the variety of events of the competition program we are sure that a number of participants will increase.

JW) In Russia, are athletes able to rank in all these events as well or is this unique to the IKFF/IKSFA ranking system?

SR)  As for Russian athletes they can rank in Biathlon and the classic Long Cycle among the men and only in snatch among the women.

JW) In the short time these tables have been out I have received many excited emails from students who are now confident they can make rank. Is this new confidence one of the goals of this new ranking system.

SR)  Quite so. It’s one of our goals. We consider the new IKFF/IKSFA international ranking table will motivate the lifters to compete and achieve new records.

JW) If an athlete competes in Biathlon, will they be able to also use those numbers to rank individually in Jerk and Snatch as well?

SR) Yes. (IKFF Kettlebell Sport Competition Policies and Rules, point 13).*

JW) You said that in Russia a rank of Master of Sport or higher can only be achieved at a major championship. Will it be the same way for these rankings?

SR) I fully agree that a rank of MS or higher should be achieved at the main championship. But the last decision concerning this question will be given by IKFF.

JW) Lastly, You told Jason and I that every few years in Russia the Ranking System is evaluated and adjusted. Is that your intention with the new ranking system and if so what kind of criteria will you be using to make the adjustments?

SR) Every system of ranking numbers must be  changed and developed. And all the corrections must depend on a number of participants and their level.

*You can view the IKFF Rules and Rankings Here.

There were a few other things concerning the rankings that we found interesting. Rudnev told us that they are evaluated and adjusted every four years. Over time, based on results and collected data, the rankings are adjusted to provide a challenging and appropriate set of goals for the sport.

This is the beginning of something excellent. Collecting data and feedback from lifters will help in the adjusting of the tables. The rankings may seem low now but they are higher than the first Russian standard. This is also one of the best ways to keep people safe. The sport will evolve over time. Our athletes will grow. More people will start younger and develop the tools they need to compete at the highest level.

….and the rest of this is really just the opinion of a masked madman…

…from parts unknown…

Becoming a master of Sport is a great thing (so I hear) but it is not the end game. Getting up on stage at the world championship and winning is where this is headed. Taking on and beating the best lifters in the world is the ultimate goal. How long until an American can reach for that goal?

The more people we attract to this sport the better chance the sport has to survive. The more success people have the bigger the sport will get. The less our best lifters get injured or burnt out the stronger we will all be.

I wrote a blog a while ago about not being afraid of super high rankings. You can read it here. Needless to say my tune has changed. I have seen a lot and done a lot since I wrote that blog. I spent a lot of time bashing myself against those numbers. I knew I wasn’t going to quit, I was already past the point of no return, but I can tell you it was no fun.

Mike Sherman made a post about this the other day. He crushed himself and made CMS with the old rankings. He is a total badass. Mike, you did what very few have done, and even if someone like me makes CMS with the new rankings I still won’t be able to beat you on the platform.

It’s like the Hill Valley Tournament from the Karate Kid. All those guys were blackbelts but they still had to fight. You don’t get a trophy for just being a Master of Sport.

A ranking is a ranking. It is a short-term goal and a measure of competence but it is not everything. I believe we will have more lifters competing because of these rankings. I think confidence will be up. I think it will be more fun.

You did a good thing here Steve and Ken.

and thank you Coach Rudnev and CoachRachinskiy.

The OKC will observe and follow these new IKFF/IKSFA rankings.

See you on the platform.

Kettle,

CHU-HI!!!….We are officially a Cult!

Juliet got hers today.

Te-Kyu-Knyu-Kon is how you pronounce the tattoo on my arm. It is translated literally to “Iron Ball Into Soul” but it reads “Put your soul into the iron ball”. Nazo wrote it. She came up with it shortly after we founded the OKC in 2007.

We had just finished teaching an OKC workshop in Hofu-City Japan when the guys gave us both a gift. The gifts were two hand made teakettles. They both came in boxes with our kanji written on the top. We were all a little shiny (well, not Nazo) and I was sitting next to my friend Matt Brocklebank when he asked me where he had seen that kanji before.

“Is that your tattoo?”

“No” I said and then it hit me. I looked at the box and in that moment it seemed right. This was my life now. These people, these words, this is my life and it is everything to me.

Nazo saw that look in my eye and she knew it was going to happen. My brother Gori looked at me and took my hand and said if I get it…he would get it in the new year.

Gori is a real man, a real fucking man.

Nazo took me to a tattoo parlor just outside Tokyo, next to a sweet potato truck, down a dark ally. The door was small, chest high to me, there was a lightbulb swinging side to side. We knocked, it creaked…down the rabbit hole we went.

It was a short room with a quiet man and a small neon skull and crossbones sign on the wall humming the ventures

He would take a few short breaks to smoke a cigarette.

Kneeling on the floor can be exhausting.

I love this tattoo. It is my whole life in a sentence I don’t have the skill to write.

Nazo gave it to me,

with a little blood to seal the gift.

Now it is Juliet’s too.

I feel so emotional.

I never thought anyone would ever want anything like this.

Except for me, but I’m really weird.

I am proud and honored and scared and touched and a little lost. It just looks so beautiful on you Juliet.

You were right today, what you said in the truck about the people. About it being about the people, making this thing a little different.

You make it different. You are part of its soul.

鉄球入魂

You put your soul into the iron ball.

And it put its soul into you,

with a little blood.

Kettle,

This is just what I needed. I flew in super late last night because of crazy delays and layovers and as I am sitting here taking my first sip of coffee those words occurred to me. This sip, this past weekend…just what I needed.

Canadian Rackon

I know I have been gone for a bit. Make no mistake about it, when I am not writing I have lost my way. When I am on, really on, I look forward to writing like nothing else in this world. I know that I train harder so that I can write about how it makes me feel. I like to write about how the kettle changes me. Lately though it just hasn’t been there.

I feel like I have just been working out. I have not been missing many training days (although I have been suffering from a mild case of the tomorrows) but the extra work, the running and gpp has been slipping. Before Siberia I would train like there was no tomorrow. Now, there is defiantly a tomorrow…maybe even a day after that.

I have not been able to flip the switch. I needed a jumpstart. I needed a lick of the lightning. I got it in Toronto.

Greg Carver had Jason and I out to his awesome gym StrengthBox in Toronto this past weekend. Our good friends Boris Terzic and Eric St-Onge put the whole thing together with him and it was a great weekend.

BOOM!!!

They had a great crew of people. Some of them had lots of experience (Eric holds the Jerk Record in North America) and some were complete beginners but all were Masters of enthusiasm. The whole weekend was filled with laughs and sweat and very little (actually I think zero) blood.

StrengthBox is a super cool gym with more toys than you can imagine. It is such a good spot that Steve Maxwell stopped by to train Joe Rogan on Friday before the big UFC event this past weekend. Steve was nice enough to stop by again on Sunday to say hello to us and take a few pics!

Horosho!

Also, we had a run in By the Kettlebell Outlaw himself Ken Whetham and his beautiful wife Shari! We took a little break to fool around with some feats of awesome and fantastic revelry!! Ken is throwing the most awesome event this upcoming weekendin Michigan and if you are anywhere near it please don’t miss it! He was telling me about it (sorry guys I mean abooot it) and it sounds like an AC/DC concert with more steel. I wish I could go, I really really do!

Most of us went out to see the UFC fight on Sat. It was a great time and just one Nazo short of perfection. No, she is still not back from Tokyo. She was really trying to make it back to this one. I have never heard her sadder about missing a workshop than this. It has been so long and it is really wearing on both of us. We all missed her so much we put her in the group photo anyway…thanks KettleStell!!!

I really can’t say enough about Greg, Boris, Eric and the people we met this weekend. It was a great time and so badly needed.

On Monday Jason and I had about 40 min to catch up on the two workouts we missed over the weekend. These two were both hard for me and to do them in less than an hour was probably not going to happen. It didn’t happen. I did not hit my numbers for either set. I was exhausted from the weekend and rushing through the biggies never really works anyway.

I was standing with my forehead against the wall. It was so frustrating. I just can’t flip the switch. I can’t get my head straight.

I was on the flight home. I was getting sore and thinking about how I am failing when it hit me. These numbers, shitty as they were, are better than the best numbers I had done prior to this year. I would have been bouncing off the walls happy in December. I am better now and I am holding myself to a higher standard. I feel like my effort sucks. I feel like my training is just working out and that I am failing.  Both are true, I can do better, but all hope is not lost.

Maybe it was the special Canadian bricks they use to build the StrengthBox. Maybe it was the energy of the folks in the class, maybe it is because they pronounce the letter “Z” as “Zed”, I don’t know. Whatever it was though I am happy for it because the switch is flipped. You guys inspired the hell out of me and I want to say thank you! I owe you.

Koala Hug

It is just what I needed.

Kettle,

The weirdest thing happened yesterday. Lately I have been getting emails asking about training or workshops and after one reply they would drop off the face of the earth. I couldn’t understand it but since I am “Way too cool” to pester anyone about these things I just let them go. I was a little worried about it so I ran a few tests with my awesome web guy and everything tested ok. Yesterday I got an email from a new friend Danny Evans and he said that I should check my spam folder for his response. Apparently he did not hear back from me…apparently.

I checked my Spam Box and HOLYSHIT it was like a treasure chest! Well, kind of, since most of these emails are too old to be salvaged. I had never even thought to look. It just never occurred to me.

In the box there were several emails from prospective clients that I never heard back from. One dude who had a whole group of people who wanted to go to the last workshop and maybe 2 dozen responses to an ad for a Jeep I am selling.

I have been replying to these emails since yesterday and I am happy to say a few people have forgiven me. I am sure most of them think I am a flake. I am completely embarrassed but thankful to Danny for telling to check my spam.

So, if you have sent me an email that I have not replied to I apologize. More than likely it just got erased in the spam box. The oldest email in there was just a few weeks old.

I wanted to write this to pass along this tip to those of us who sit in the back of the classroom.

Unreal.

Kettle,

No Kettlebell chatter from me today…

I went to see a movie yesterday. I’m a huge Ray Stevenson fan. Ever since he was in the HBO series Rome  I have been watching his stuff. So when I saw that he was going to star as Danny Greene I was pumped. Not that I knew who Danny Greene was (I didn’t) and not that I had waited long for this movie (I only heard about  it last week) but I was psyched anyway.

It did not dissapoint!

There is nothing like a good gangster movie about a tough as nails protagonist taking it to the fat, stupid, lazy, and inept overlords. Danny is just a guy, but he is tougher and craftier than these “Maggots”. It really gets my blood up.

“IS THAT ALL YA GOT?! IT’S GONNA TAKE MORE THAN A FEW FIRECRACKERS TO KILL DANNY GREENE!!!”

Oh yes it will

“We’ve shot him, we’ve blowed him up…he just won’t die!”

He just keeps coming back. He learns who he can trust. He can feel who is going to betray him. He can smell the greedy, the careless, and the weak of soul.

“My enemies will be taken care of…I promise”

I love it.

Go see it.

He’s not a hard man to find.

kettle,

We had a great 2 Day Workshop in Costa Mesa at Innovative Results this past weekend! There was a good (and good looking) crowd of lifters there. Plus, we had Sarah Lightfoot, Juliet Lederle, and Mike Salemi fly in to offer some assistance making it a pretty full crew. The only one we were missing was Nazo…and boy were we missing her.

On the second day when we were handing out the certificates Aaron asked if we could take a few moments of silence for Nazo, her family, and the Japanese people. It was very touching and I wanted to take a moment to say thank you Aaron. It was a very cool and somber moment. I could really feel that you meant it. I think that is a very rare thing.

Everyone was on point all weekend. It was a great environment with lots of people who knew and liked each other. There was also a great feeling of inclusion that seems to be a hallmark of this community. It makes me really happy to be a part of this whole thing.

A apologize for not writing a whole ton. Nazo is still in Japan and my heart is heavy. It is difficult to get all up about anything right now. I am trying but when she is over there suffering with quadruple stacked tragedy it really slows me down.

I did manage to get in a good set of snatches after the workshop on Saturday. It is always nice to get that in and not miss a day of training. I am feeling stronger lately. My endurance is up. I can’t remember a time when I could teach all day and then do a close to max (including time and pace) set right after.

I am really getting to my breaking point with this Nazo situation. We are trying to plan a charity event which will probably be on April 23 in Berkeley. I have to hold off because I really want Nazo to be there but I have no idea if she will be back by then.

Nazo Unleashed!!!

I hope so.

This whole weekend Dolby and I were trying to explain to people how great the vibe is with Nazo there. It was a great workshop but we can’t explain how much better it is with her there. We were even talking about who would be Nazo’s favorite person there (It would be Armon for sure).

Thank you so much Aaron, Corey, and Geof. You and your crew are so Awesome! We can’t wait to come back!!! Next time with Nazo in tow.

Come home Nazo, please come home…

Kettle,

Oh, Next up is Toronto! BOOM!!

I was at the airport at DFW wearing my new super cool Cowboy hat. I was just about to pass through security on my way home from an AWESOME OKC workshop at Full Throttle Athletics in Frisco Texas when the security lady said to me “I need to see your eyes” in a pretty gruff way. I had forgotten I was wearing the hat.

As I passed her this itty bitty TSA guy looked at me and asked me where I was going, I actually had to think for a minute due to all of my traveling and when I said San Francisco he said with a tough guy neckroll (thumbs stuck in his belt) “I’m sorry”.

Is this guy fucking with me?

I looked at him and I said “well, I’m done with you food and your women so I guess it’s time” (no I didn’t but I wanted to) I actually said “right, we done here?” We were done.

Mess with Texas…check (really a half check).

The workshop was great. He facility at Full Throttle was amazing! I am so jealous! The Blifferts have every toy you can imagine. They even had several different styles of sport bells.

BJ picked Jason and I up at the airport and drove us to their house where they offered us our own rooms to stay in. We went out to dinner and got to meet our new friend Jim who was at both days of the workshop.

All of the people who were there were super cool and Jason and I had a blast working with them. On Saturday night Rev Bart drove all the way from Houston to eat with us and take the second day of the course. I think that him and Jim will be best friends forever .

The second day was really fun and I even started it off by drinking this crazy crank juice that BJ told me was like rocket fuel, or it might have been Tiger Blood I don’t know. Either way I was #Winning ™ for the first hour or so of the second day. When I finally got back to normal I realized that Jason was well on his way to sculpting these fine people into Kettlebell Rockstars!

After the workshop Jason and I said goodbye to everyone and went out to dinner with the Blifferts. We got to talk a bunch about our travels which is always fun! Next time we will bring the slide projector!

Monday we got our hats (and one for Nazo) and took some time to train and then take a few pics. It was a really fun day. It was a really fun trip. I hope we get invited back! Cough cough…

The only downer was that Nazo was not there. She was stuck in Japan and the earthquake had just hit. That is one of the reasons I haven’t written this blog sooner. I apologize BJ, I would have but every time I wanted to post it I just couldn’t. I don’t really know why.

I will say though if Full Throttle invites you to do a workshop in Frisco you should take them up on it! They are wonderful hosts and the attendees are bad ass!

Thank you all for coming to the workshop and thank you to BJ and Kori Bliffert for bringing us down and taking such good care of us. It was a real treat!

Kettle,

Oh, we’ll be in Costa mesa this weekend and there is always room for more.